In this chapter we will consider some of the complex ways in which symbiotic families remain as a unit longer than is beneficial for the individual growth of each member. These interactions cause troubling feelings of confusion, guilt, despair, and helplessness for children.
Download Author: McArthur, Dorothea Ph.D. ABPP
Birth of a Self in Adulthood
This book is about the treatment of a large clinical group termed borderline, referred to here as impinged upon adults. She clarifies the underlying pathological commands given without conscious destructive intent by parents to their children. The author describes the step-by-step changes necessary for the birth of a self that can occur as a result of psychotherapy. (329 pages)
Reviews
“Dr. McArthur succinctly and cogently pulls together and explains the variety of depersonifying messages (commands) that disturbed parents, themselves victims of identity-distorting depersonifications within their own families, direct toward their children. Her book fills an important niche in the psychodynamic literature devoted to personality disorder, family dysfunctionality, and their treatment. It richly deserves, and will undoubtedly achieve, a wide lay and professional readership.”
—Donald B. Rinsley M.D.
“Birth of a Self in Adulthood sensitively captures the drama of how implicit, unconscious messages sent by parents bind us to them, to fulfill their unmet needs and wishes. Dr. McArthur clearly describes the unconscious character of these message that become internalized as if they were commandments, which we must not break.”
—Donald R. Fridley Ph.D.
“Birth of a Self in Adulthood is a very readable work, rich in clinical examples and free of psychological jargon. The book concisely describes how some parents, due to their own feelings of profound psychological incompleteness, use members of their families to achieve a sense of personal wholeness, and the emotional damage this causes to everyone involved.”
—Charlotte Fletcher Ph.D.
Defining Moments:Breaking Through Tough Times
Presents effective ways to examine unresolved issues that may be causing anger, anxiety, or depression by looking at each one’s life story to discover childhood survival skills needed to handle adversity. These skills are then altered to better accommodate the present and future in a successful way.
Dr. McArthur steps you through how to handle the struggle to get back up again—and how you can recreate your life and be happier in the process. If counseling is financially out of your reach—this book gives you Dr. McArthur’s 66 stories and examples, so you can powerfully learn how to:
- Deal with insomnia and depression
- Find new ways to live through grief
- Use the power of nature to empower you
- Allow negative feelings to guide you in understanding unresolved conflicts
- Find an enduring romantic relationship, and nourish friendships
- Devise a career that uses your strengths
- Use your integrity and morality as a foolproof way to build self-esteem
- Raise children well, especially those with special needs
- Find good psychotherapy at a reduced fee
(317 pages)
Introduction: Birth of a Self
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