Beyond Blame


Publisher: Jossey-Bass

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Blaming others is easy. But as author Jefrey Kottler shows, the key to resolving conflicts is not in what’s wrong with others. We can find the key within ourselves and learn to react differently—when we understand the forces that maintain our self-defeating behaviors and use those insights to resolve our own issues.

In Beyond Blame, Jeffrey Kottler explains how to

  • Identify what sets you off
  • Find the causes of your conflicts
  • Handle the discomfort of conflict
  • Try different strategies
  • Recognize the positive value of conflict
  • Deal with the conflicts that can’t be resolved

Whether your conflict is with a family member, a co-worker, a boss, a teacher, a friend, or a lover, Beyond Blame will help you get at the root of the problem, take responsibility for what is happening, and respond more effectively. (200 pp.)


“At a time when too many conflict and negotiation books argue that the other side is the problem, Beyond Blame has an important and different message. Instead of looking for ways of blaming or manipulating the other side, this book preaches the importance of taking responsibility for one’s own actions and attitudes, looking inward instead of outward.”

-Jeffrey Z. Rubin, senior fellow, Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School

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